Whats in my mind?

I myself dunno what is going in my life now...I am taking my life and whacking it on the ground with my own hands....i am being overly sensitive, true. I am being an idiot, true. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

just read the dedicated post. appreciated it....realized yar indeed was hoping too much for myself and i was bleah....sry if i ever smeared your reputation...sry if i ever made you want to lose your temper....sry if i hurted you....sry if wat i said almost made u lose your other frenz.....sry i made u struggle with tat post....sry....

yeah and now u will go thats ur n-th sry and u will repeat it...

wat to do i am a sensitive guy and forced my mind to think of the way things were in a manner otherwise....yeah thought things were right in my way although they werent....so smart of me....yup its time for me to grow up and act my age...my fault for being emotionally attached to you.....you didnt ask me to....i was the one who forced it on myself...i am just a friend, and thats it....i have understooded...all i wanted was some talk...but ya was asking too much...even if now i wanna talk it out, doubt any words will come out....yup i know i was always the wrong guy, making everyone pissed just like today...enjoy your times with your frenz...

-to the friend i missed-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

weeee yup as you all must have read, i made my grp members pissed today.....sry but when i am moody, i tend to just become in my own world...was just being natural as was told to be... i, a small timid reserved boy....yup so my attitude today made my members irritated/pissed...hun obvious lor....haha....but ya la i noe it was my fault....they had every right to be....gosh i am such an arse right...jai making people angry month....bleah

anyways something to brighten up....my bro went sky diving on saturday....ass rite....was suppose to go with me....coming to spore on 27th....

lalala.....

me =/= good boy

feeling feversih

Dunno just rants

Dunno wat to say...have been feeling down since like wks but i might just be too gd an actor that no one sees it, and they see all others who are down....

i dun want u to lose a close fren....like why wud i?....yeah i noe i have been very selfish and yup i have done things that will make you and some others angry....but please come on tell me,i am sure you do noe how i felt....cuz thats what u felt too, when i used to ignore you....seriously i am not an asshole who will stoop so low....i noe i did some stupid things, and yes i noe i was wrong....i agree...but has anyone tried to think why i did that...yes i am not her boyfren, but i dun wanna lose her either, but it just seems that well the process has started...i dunno...just its in my fate to lose ppl...i maybe selfish and jealous, but who wudnt be in circumstances like this?i didnt say anything cuz i noe i was wrong....but some stuff u said did hurt me....u noe me better...

its has been more than 1mth and i have not seen that care or smth i kinda wanted from her....barely spoken even 100 words to her in like 1mth plus....

i feel like a book in a bookshelf only opened when needed...-quoted from fren

exactly how i have been feeling, but sometimes even feel am i even needed?

i have been dying the same death over and over again everyday....i have no objection on what you do....and i have no rightz anyway.....but what i have been experiencing since so long, what did i do to deserve this...yes i have bullied you, but that was lovingly bully....but i get hurt to the max everyday....but i dun show it....i dun want any sympathy....i want that care to come naturally....but dunno why have this feeling, it will never come....dunno why me, but haiz....ya ya i am the bad guy....the worst guy born on earth right....haiz....

~edited~

dunno, ur "brother" just missed you...

i dunno la...its just depressing and hurtful la... :(

Ultra-fun....is smth i desire

hello hello....recently nothing much has been going on....got 1 damn nice news...my toe kinda recovered...erm like there is no pain.....but still cannot bend...tmr blading....fun fun....top it up wednesday no sch....hehe...seeing so many people on with their driving lessons and stuff makes me jealous sometimes....argh...2more months to apply and then 4mthz to license....anyways on with the updates....

8 Nov 2008
Whole day was pretty much spent slacking at Sonu's house....evening just went down for a walk...saw frenz play soccer while i just did some basketballing...after tat swim...9plus went back to Sonu's house for soccer match watching....Man U lost sia...tat too to arsenal...watched few matches and came back home like 1plus...cudnt sleep so watch movie....slept finally at 4....

9 Nov 2008
Woke up at 11+..ate something and somehow fell asleep again....wake up 3+.....slack around....did a bit of ECSD...then go down again....walked around at ECP....came back swim with frenz....later watch match again at Sonu's house....around 11 while at his place web cammed with gur gur....talked a while....continue with match and back home at 2....LOLz....reason why i go sch late....LOL...

10 Nov 2008
Late for sch.....hehe....asked jie which subject is first....lucky lucky ECSD...cher dun care one....LOL....reason why i late.....once i got ready to leave fell asleep fully dressed up....left housie at 915....anyways had mac mac for lunch....b4 tat had porridge with cheryl jie....didnt feel so full in my life....SWENing was boring...was playing game throughout....bleah....cuz teacher didnt come...ooooh ya...my phone is coming back to rejoice with me....LOL...haha phone got into Su Pings hand and they say ok giving....LOL....anyways after sch well nth much happened....went home with tok and xinyi jie....stopped at bendermeer there...brought back memories of Hindi School...while walking back home realized that ehhh got SWEN lec hor....and like kinda everyone just left for home....hehe....nth much really....

lol tmr getting back phone....going roller-blading also...going plaza sing also...wednesday no sch also....lalala....bleah.....hehe okok byez

Total fun and happiness

These 2 days have been awesomely fun for me..felt indeed blissfull in the past 2 days...hope these things come more often....or shud i say everyday.....muahahaaha....LOL...ok lets talk about thursday...

6th Nov 2008
Swen project presentation......ok apart from tat everything was happy!!!....lol....presentation went pretty well....did stumble a bit but turned out alrite...ok not tat alrite...when Q&A time, the teacher was a super %&*#@!!@#*.....seriously la....she ask like damn wierd questions......and like everyone has their own opinion about certain phrases wat...ok la her answer was right when she told us, cuz it just struck me suddenly.....but my answer was close and did make sense....she ask like eeeeyer....shhhhh no more her.....after tat was ECSD....very fun day......was tehing 'aunty' cher......lol....during 'break' we went mensa for desert!!!....yum yum mango ice.....love it.....after sch help cheryl jie with her lappy to install office....while doing tat watched some damn funny videos on youtube....

Man U player, Park singing touch my body




Japanese english lesson



reminded of 24hr tag....u all shud watch it too.....


at night went for a spin to 711 with fren....chit chatted at pool area...laughed alot.....hehex....then 12 plus gur gur called me!!!....waaa but she wanted me to sing...lalala...so sung her lame self created lalabuys then 5 songs....after tat asked her to sing for me....she sang with you by chris brown for me......waaaa ok her singing is nice.....then just talk talk laugh alot....so overall had fun with siblings and gur gur today...YAHOOOOOO....


7h Nov 2008

Went for microsoft seminar at 1130.....forced to eat 'lunch' by mummy before leavin...met kia yee on the way there....reached there at arnd 1150....and our classmatez werent there yet....so first go KFC to grab smth...i was tempted so had cheese fries...then go carefour to see if there is smth for me to buy for home....nth...finally they all came so went to the seminar....marked attendance after a while left for lunch at Carls at Marina Sq with wei yu, alex, suping jie, xin yi jie, victor and yu hao. I wasnt hungry so they had their lunch...i had an overdosage of fries today...was being showered with love from both my jies and being fed fries.....lalala....blush blush.....felt very happy.....hehe....were in Carls for like 2hrs plus...after tat went back to sch....i joined blading as my recreation....damn fun ppl and its very fun atmosphere also....yeah but i wont be blading till next wk or the next next wk....cuz i have been forbidden to blade...and i do appreciate my jies cocerns....respect their orders and its for my own good...love them....haha ya ting my toe might fall soon.....weee hold girls hand today!!!LOL....cuz since i wasnt blading so i just walk ard and help the newer ppl in their blading....mainly concentrated on 2....my jie and some girl, damn cant rmb her name....LOL....i am decently gd in skating but the ppl there are way better....but well they show keen interest in the sport and like to do the tricks....i just like blading as in the speed and just the straight path ahead...can just do some basic stupid minor tricks like eagle i think......think tried T-break once....so my dear mr nice toe toe...pls heal so that i can go blading again....currently watched survivors and house.....they are just uber gd la....hahah...


haha ya tats like about for today.....might go watch movie soooon.....lalala

Birthday celebration...LOL

Weeee i got a rash or smth on my right hand thumb area.....dunno wat happened....cudnt be the ice pack gel cuz quite a few others also kanna tat...waaaa u can see pink color....hehe anyways tmr is presentation....wootz....ok u wont hear this from me often if at all...i am a bit nervous....but i know things will go fine...
anyways about today then....slept quite early but still woke up pretty late...but managed to come to sch on time.....why must we have that SWEN teacher...after tat had birthday celebration....for pictures can get them from Su Pig's blog...emphasis on pig....hehe kidding la...tats if she posts them.....so Sept, Nov and Dec babies all celebrated today...not bad....my kinda first celebration with classmatez.....just made my urge to become 18 even more....well i have not touched my steering wheel for a very long time...hmmm today celebration wasnt like tat long where u go and throw cream at each other, run around and play....guess everyone was shagged and also busy with projects...hmmm shagged at 1pm...ok maybe not....lolies....hehe...
di also came today....long time didnt see him...happy to see him...gd thing no Os till next wk.....after celebration most of us proceeded to Mensa for lunch....on the way was the Milo van....rmb those X-countries they had these....i drank 6-7 cups in a row...cant blame me, very thirsty and i think didnt have milo tat tasted so gd for a long time....so haha no lunch for me cuz wasnt tat hungry....so then we went to bookshop later buy lolipop....yummy....after tat went to the lab with our other half of the class....they were doing their project while i just did some fooling around....
back home at around 530....went down at 6....play soccer on muddy as in gone case muddy ground and swim till 8....back home looked at slides to think of wat to talk about...hmm think should be alrite...
haha yes like tats about today....lalalalala

NO HEROES!?!?!?!

Hahaha as the title suggests....Heroes episode 8 has been postponed due to US elections...haha damn u elections...lolz....so gotta wait till next wk...baaaahzz....anyways talk about today....sch was pretty alrite today.....Xin Yi jie accompanied at the bus stop back home...loves jie....sad she couldnt get the game she wanted....came back home like 240.....took a bath and just dozed off....damn tired dunno why....slept early also....woke up like 5.....fuyoh.....it was raining every single animal....asked few frenz to go down....i went down within 10mins and was playing basketball in super heavy rain.....hmmm heavy as in lightning and thunder and hmm nth visible with 10m of radius....super super fun in the rain....frenz came within 30mins....played a bit of basketball then instead of usuall soccer we had total SLIDING soccer....total sliding...yeah...cuz the field was basically a pool and less of a puddle....can actually slide a distance of 7m+...not bombing anyhow....after tat had chat with fren about his soon to be gf....LOL....yeah and also about my hopefully soon to be gf....lame....came back at 8....fresh fresh den just slack...okokwas a little good boy so see wat was done in ECSD and well yawnzz cudnt read anything for like more than 5 mins....heehee...yeah...hmmmm Madagascar 2 coming out soon....someone invite me liao.....haha anyways a small thought to end with.....


No matter how full my mayonnaise jar may be, with golf balls, pebbles or sand, there is always room for a couple of cups of coffee...

When four friends meet, whether it is, for breakfast at Kopitiam, or dinner at Pastamania,to fool around at the Esplanade admiring the skyline, or by the beach watching the sun set with your leg knee-deep in the water, or to camp overnight at a park, hoping to squeeze 8 people in a tent which has enough space for 4, or if nothing else, just for a cup of coffee, whenever, wherever,however

it is always a pleasure. A welcome break. Remembering past, laughing out loud and sharing amusing stories. Our day to day struggles are for each one of us to grapple with but in a journey that is to last a lifetime, there can never be enough time spent with friends. They say one needs just 3 true friends to be wealthy. I have 166 on facebook. How lucky. Quite, but have we spent quality time somehow or another. I am drifting slightly from my jie already and i so don't want that. Damn.

In life or in my mayonnaise jar, my family (the golf balls) must go in first, my job: my bread and butter (the pebbles) next, and then all the other small little things (the sand), last. But regardless of how much I put in, I will realise there is always space, for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend...

“What is the use of a sword, when all you need is a needle? Of all the wealth in the world, when all you need is a friend?”

    

Sunder-Monday

03 Nov 08====> feverish schooly

Alriteez so today i woke up kinda late.....hmmm say like 8am....i am suppose to leave my house at this time...actually was feeling feverish at night...i hadnt taken panadol in like yrs...only thursday i took....cud tat be the reason why feverish...anyways i reached sch on time(at least before the teacher)....how well daddy dropped me....if only i cud drive 'legally' then no probies...can come sch on time....ECSD wasnt tat boring today.....why cuz all my work was working.....hehe....dunno if i saved it though....lolz....then there was SWENing...kinda boring...haha ok la the jealous boy in me returned...wat to do...i also human...lalalala.....cud feel my cheeks warm sia....lol there is a limit to jealousy la jai...hehe....fooled around with cheryl jie....after sch was straight soccer...ground was wet so you can guess it was fun....slide here there everywhere....had to jump into a deep drain to get the ball...slippery!!!...then dip in the pool...hehe wanna go blading tmr....but well promised xin yi jie no blading till toe is like HEALED.....haha toe will you heal...2 wks already leh....ok la my fault been playing soccer everyday...and got injured on that toe again like 3days back i think...so see how when it recovers....guess no blading tmr then...

2nd Nov08 ===> Family Entertainer

oookies so today i woke up pretty late...say 12 noon...oh well had to scrap idea of going out cuz there was rain in tampines......anyways cooked lunch today....my fav dishes(long beans with tomato and another tofu....dhal was ok ok).....evening went down to play cuz outing was confirmed cancelled....sighz....first time toe was still happy after games...no injury....at night had some dinner party....all were adults...no kidz....so just talked with them for a while and went to room...then remembered eh haven returned my books yet...so bladed to Marine Parade Library return books...back in like 50mins+...not bad...haha but while blading toe felt slighlty pain cuz of all the bumps and tightness...overall not bad....love blading...then come back...this is when the familiy entertainer part comes in...mummy was telling the guest that i can sing and play piano...so i was there playing my 1 handed piano and sometimes creating my own tunes..then had to sing song for them on the karaoke.....aaaahaahaha i got 96pts but i shy sing infront of all adults la...haha den went back to my movie i was watchin....at night watched soccer and F1....which reminds me....sad Massa lost...dunno whether the toyota driver stopped on purpose to let hamilton pass or was it becuz his wet tires cudnt take it anymore...heex

Saturday!!!~~~~

Ok so i woke up at 630....yeah i noe i slept pretty "early" today....long time no blading so went for morning blading....saw pretty girls....gd sightseeing.....hehe....ok jai be faithfull to gurleen.....haha....watched sunrise and went all the way to marine parade chalet there....
afternoon was suppose to go out with fren at 12...so reached his house at 1145....den found out we not leaving till 1240 cuz the girlz we were meeting haven left yet...LOL...okok....before you all think wrong...it was more like my frenz date....i accompany him....and the other girl who came along also came to accompany her fren....we 4 met last wk also....had fun talking and laughed alot....today i tot ok lets experiment....so i didnt talk much with the other girl...was in my own world smsing gurleen....hehe....every now and then crack a random joke and it was mostly at the girl whom i was to entertain.....think my experiment was correct...haha tat girl was getting kinda pissed....hehe....sry la i meano and was having fun....and hoi i was being faithful to my gal....LOL...so ya later when we were leaving i just say sry to her....ehe see i gentleman..LOL
then came back home finished my lovely unfinished super funny movie...haha at night went to sindhu house for the senior citizen version of diwali...hehe this time i didnt dance...but was forced to sing....so yeah sang...which reminds me....2 days back while eating at design with my class, got this guy singing and playing the guitar....ok he wasnt tat bad at first but later he got worse....and come on we were eating....so ya i sang there and had my dinner...and den left to watch my soccer matchesss...hehe...kinda very impressed with Hull city performance...no choice they lost to a very strong team....but they came back to lose 4-3...Van Persie wat did you do!!!RED CARD!!!...yeah some gd play but also some dissapointing match results....

highlight of the day some superb flirting with her....she said she wished my toe will drop(she knows of my toe injury)....den i cam back with my toe will only drop if u dun love meee....aaaaaw *blushes* flirting boy!!...hehe ya tatz about it....
time check : 3-35am....
LOL....yeah i not sleepy...watching star-movies on my lappy!!!!u guys should get sopcast and tvuplayer....comes handy....they are free....
cant wait for tmr afternoon......or shud i say today afternoon....LOL....
hehe ok cyaz...

Killer toe...haloween

31.10.08=====>Hawloween
Today wasnt tat gr8 a day....wasnt feeling well...lab wasnt awesome either....i have beeen doing my work though but well get problems here and there.....was minicliping whole day....took panadol after lunch...after sch while going off to bus stops lol narrating my life adventure story to my jies....lol they like not listening liao...sighs sadded...hehe...at the bus stop when my bus came then i told them lol u werent listening at all rite....then both of them just laughed loudly.....like ok so tats the only thing they heard i guess....hehe...ok probably they think i am lying with my experience....but well they are damn true....i am a super dare-devil...hehe...ok ok self praise is no praise but international disgrase...my 'woooing' girls fav pharase to scold me....
so ya anyways went back home played soccer...i dunno there was a nice loooking chinese girl maybe my age...so u might have guessed soccer was played awesomely today....and was playing with kidz asking for my sweetz...most of the girl kidz were dressed as wiches....or shud i say like alll.....anyways my toe had a bad day....got injured 4 times in a row...1st was ankle injury....very minor sprain...was ok within 5mins.....then 2nd injury on my toes...tried curling my shot....miss-timed it and kanna ouch..then 3rd injury was also mis time shot....aiming my fren to show my aiming shot is gd...so forgot my toe was injured and whacked the ball hard....hit my toe again...but hey it did hit my frenz chest...LOL...and then came the killer injury.....fren did a power shot straight at goal....well i did score as i directed his shot to the goal....but in the process my poor toe got a direct hit straight on....i was limping for like 20 sec....and then just fell to the ground.....i swear i cud have cried from tat excruciating pain...i was like yay can bend my toe quite a lot....and then phooom no more bending baby....after tat just rested for a while....then start playing again...den switched to basketballl....at least no kicking in tat....
after playing, rested at poool area and had some dumb jokes cracked and some haloween fun....den a guys sms came with a ringtone....like you have a message....i cudnt control myself so i said in a disguised voice and heavy voice...."Is it?"....haha everyone cudnt stop laughing la....den went back home....ooooh and my long awaited hindi movie was released....so was watching it after mid-night and then at 2+ dads comes in and catches me awake...damn...halfway through a movie..datz not fair....hehe....so had to sleep
pretty painful yet fun day....ehe