HOLIDAAAAAAAAY!!!

its holiday time now.....flying off on saturday....well talk about tests....well i finally wore my jacket to lt 12, and it wasnt tat cold on tat day....so i did the test...well the paper was easy overall, although my 12 mark qn is kinda screwed...but overall i did well.....lab test today was pretty good too....however presentation was aaaaawwwww.....dr. foo WHY!!!!....lol....hmmmm so close to my bdayyyy......brothers bday very next day....cool rite....hmmm my prezzies pls....

well after a very long time i have bought some stuffs for myself.....like very long long time.....bought a sleeveless hoodie, formal shoes, another so called party shoe.....happy kid....and ya i got a new phone too..sick of slide phones....past 2 phones were slide.....b4 that were 2 normal phones....in the middle was brothers flip phone....and also my other crap normal phone(30 sms)....yup so got new phone today...quite nice.....reasonably cheap.....although i was eyeing lg reinor....but kinda ex.....$400....dun wan....happy with my viewty....fast to learn also....although still figuring out how to shut the phone up...everytime touch much make sound...LOL....

Happy but got some guilt in me

dear diary, 

got a confession to make...

Hmmm the past few days have been pretty eventless....beeen waking up very late and sleeping very late...i also dunno why....glad to see my grp has almost finished the project...proud of them....however i feel guilty...i haven really done anything for the grp in this project...well we cant even count moral support, cuz not a word came out from me...well but i was there just in case they needed help....ya so feeling guilty cuz i didnt really do much for the ECSD project....SWEN i did so i am glad...hmmm ya....

come on jai open up....why have u become like tat....miss the old jai....but ya the old jai had some bad things tooo...hehe

hmmm 5 more days and i will be flying.....7 more days to cheryl bday...10 to another fren bday.....and 11 to mineee......not bad cant wait...

Cuz lifes like tat

weeee my bro is backieee.....after damn long sia.....saw his sky diving video, and pics.....meano was suppose to do with me....its an awesome experience la....but more fun if u are not attached to another person while falling....that thrill is different....so i got new driver to sch for mon and tues, cuz pampered boy here is lazy to wake up so early....

recently went blood donating.....like FINALLY....yeah u will ask wats so fun/gd abt it....well dunno the feeling always came to me to donate blood....and in a way it is gd for ur body...replenishes ur blood.....stupid logic but we r kinda givin our bad blood away or smth...dunno heard from where....

other then that, nth much really. life cant go your way, so just live with it...haha using this policy has made me feeel slightly better....tried to pour out the emoness as suggested by some frnz, well to an extent can pour out, but somehow when it rain, body absorbs it again, lame.....haha but ya la...kinda better....have made some changes...hmmm indirectly kinda talking lesser....hehe buts its ok i have been replaced.....and everyone likes the substitute....so ya.....but its ok.....tats life...hehehehez....not complaining....

OOOOOOOH OOOOOOOH, main thing.....FINALLY GOT BACK MY PHONE!!!!!......bloody 6 wks of seperation.....but the lady who passed me back the phone got ATTITUDE sia.....probably she had a bad day....but personal life and work life shud be seperate....haha easy to say leh....damn hard to comply.....wonder which idiots came out with these hard to comply sayings....

well ytd played squash at night.....ok i was playing with a big size gal....LOL....can be mean wat......but she was experienced....therefore u can say she was gd....struggled to play with her.......



BUT

I WON.....haha.....played 4 games in a row.....one with bro....3 with her...with her, i won first set, she won second, and i won third......but close match...as i said she was experienced.....thus whole body aching after the game.....arm pain, thigh muscle cramped......back feeeeels ooooooolalah....PAIN........butt also pain....

HAHA ya photos....after ages....wat to do no camera to take with...and ya i wasnt me....

thats her and bro playin.....

today was a nice day.....kinda alrite....do project all...had a briefing at LT....I WAS SHIVERING.....true i love cold......

see told yaaaaa......

anyways lec was alrite...and when i meant alrite i meant alrite....i prefer Dr. Foooooooo....anyways so here is what i did in lec.....UPLOADING VID....still uploading......after 10min.....now i noe why u all hate uploading vid.....pic are like so much faster....weee uploaded.....

ya its a lame video....this is wat happens when u r bored and tired, and when ppl arnd u have jackets to wear and u r shivering!!!

ok so before this lec, we were briefed on wat electives to choose...i kinda got 1 in my mind already....still deciding on the other......

oh ya my fav cute car in sch.....

still go model behind it....she drove bmw to sch......lol

yup yup thats pretty much abt it...

eh eh haven finish yet...finally had my craving of mocha frappe released...had from bedok mac....came back home...my brother forced me to sing karaoke with him...think told u all before....grandparents gave us karaoke last time they came....so ya brother forced me.....and well once i start i dun stop....haha he asked for it....but i paid for it.....ok la i was singing well...thrashing him in his fav michael jackson songs, beatles, some other old eng song i haven NEVA heard off....oh oh oh and the spanish song macarena....i am a champ in tat...99/100....can win me? avg score was 93....lalala....i sang so many, my voice was gone....and i mean gone.....and smart brother went to get cold water for me....and even smarter me went on to drink it.....DOTZZZZ....he was giving me all the most random oldy songs, and i was singing them in my now gone case CRACKED voice....his turn come when i cudnt take it anymore....too easy....and ya throat PAIN.....then my turn to choose....at least he chose songs fot me tat he knew.....i randomly keyed in some numb and wateva song came out he had to sing....lalala....overall fun la....laughed like siao....made my throat bad....then now while typing i keep testing whether my voice is back....it seems tat its normal again....slightly harsh voice, but think by tmr, shud be ok.....

kinda more lively post rite...ok clap hand...pat pat...cyz

~~~~UPDATED~~~~~

I dunno wats my problem......when u didnt talk to me i complained, i emoed......and now today it was always u trying to strike the convo and i was only replying....then maybe once or twice added smth....

rly dunno wats my prob.... i didnt have that smth in me anymore to talk....dunno why....funnies stupidest wierdest complaing guy eva.....cholly...

Whats in my mind?

I myself dunno what is going in my life now...I am taking my life and whacking it on the ground with my own hands....i am being overly sensitive, true. I am being an idiot, true. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

just read the dedicated post. appreciated it....realized yar indeed was hoping too much for myself and i was bleah....sry if i ever smeared your reputation...sry if i ever made you want to lose your temper....sry if i hurted you....sry if wat i said almost made u lose your other frenz.....sry i made u struggle with tat post....sry....

yeah and now u will go thats ur n-th sry and u will repeat it...

wat to do i am a sensitive guy and forced my mind to think of the way things were in a manner otherwise....yeah thought things were right in my way although they werent....so smart of me....yup its time for me to grow up and act my age...my fault for being emotionally attached to you.....you didnt ask me to....i was the one who forced it on myself...i am just a friend, and thats it....i have understooded...all i wanted was some talk...but ya was asking too much...even if now i wanna talk it out, doubt any words will come out....yup i know i was always the wrong guy, making everyone pissed just like today...enjoy your times with your frenz...

-to the friend i missed-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

weeee yup as you all must have read, i made my grp members pissed today.....sry but when i am moody, i tend to just become in my own world...was just being natural as was told to be... i, a small timid reserved boy....yup so my attitude today made my members irritated/pissed...hun obvious lor....haha....but ya la i noe it was my fault....they had every right to be....gosh i am such an arse right...jai making people angry month....bleah

anyways something to brighten up....my bro went sky diving on saturday....ass rite....was suppose to go with me....coming to spore on 27th....

lalala.....

me =/= good boy

feeling feversih

Dunno just rants

Dunno wat to say...have been feeling down since like wks but i might just be too gd an actor that no one sees it, and they see all others who are down....

i dun want u to lose a close fren....like why wud i?....yeah i noe i have been very selfish and yup i have done things that will make you and some others angry....but please come on tell me,i am sure you do noe how i felt....cuz thats what u felt too, when i used to ignore you....seriously i am not an asshole who will stoop so low....i noe i did some stupid things, and yes i noe i was wrong....i agree...but has anyone tried to think why i did that...yes i am not her boyfren, but i dun wanna lose her either, but it just seems that well the process has started...i dunno...just its in my fate to lose ppl...i maybe selfish and jealous, but who wudnt be in circumstances like this?i didnt say anything cuz i noe i was wrong....but some stuff u said did hurt me....u noe me better...

its has been more than 1mth and i have not seen that care or smth i kinda wanted from her....barely spoken even 100 words to her in like 1mth plus....

i feel like a book in a bookshelf only opened when needed...-quoted from fren

exactly how i have been feeling, but sometimes even feel am i even needed?

i have been dying the same death over and over again everyday....i have no objection on what you do....and i have no rightz anyway.....but what i have been experiencing since so long, what did i do to deserve this...yes i have bullied you, but that was lovingly bully....but i get hurt to the max everyday....but i dun show it....i dun want any sympathy....i want that care to come naturally....but dunno why have this feeling, it will never come....dunno why me, but haiz....ya ya i am the bad guy....the worst guy born on earth right....haiz....

~edited~

dunno, ur "brother" just missed you...

i dunno la...its just depressing and hurtful la... :(