Whats in my mind?

I myself dunno what is going in my life now...I am taking my life and whacking it on the ground with my own hands....i am being overly sensitive, true. I am being an idiot, true. 

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just read the dedicated post. appreciated it....realized yar indeed was hoping too much for myself and i was bleah....sry if i ever smeared your reputation...sry if i ever made you want to lose your temper....sry if i hurted you....sry if wat i said almost made u lose your other frenz.....sry i made u struggle with tat post....sry....

yeah and now u will go thats ur n-th sry and u will repeat it...

wat to do i am a sensitive guy and forced my mind to think of the way things were in a manner otherwise....yeah thought things were right in my way although they werent....so smart of me....yup its time for me to grow up and act my age...my fault for being emotionally attached to you.....you didnt ask me to....i was the one who forced it on myself...i am just a friend, and thats it....i have understooded...all i wanted was some talk...but ya was asking too much...even if now i wanna talk it out, doubt any words will come out....yup i know i was always the wrong guy, making everyone pissed just like today...enjoy your times with your frenz...

-to the friend i missed-

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weeee yup as you all must have read, i made my grp members pissed today.....sry but when i am moody, i tend to just become in my own world...was just being natural as was told to be... i, a small timid reserved boy....yup so my attitude today made my members irritated/pissed...hun obvious lor....haha....but ya la i noe it was my fault....they had every right to be....gosh i am such an arse right...jai making people angry month....bleah

anyways something to brighten up....my bro went sky diving on saturday....ass rite....was suppose to go with me....coming to spore on 27th....

lalala.....

me =/= good boy

feeling feversih

Dunno just rants

Dunno wat to say...have been feeling down since like wks but i might just be too gd an actor that no one sees it, and they see all others who are down....

i dun want u to lose a close fren....like why wud i?....yeah i noe i have been very selfish and yup i have done things that will make you and some others angry....but please come on tell me,i am sure you do noe how i felt....cuz thats what u felt too, when i used to ignore you....seriously i am not an asshole who will stoop so low....i noe i did some stupid things, and yes i noe i was wrong....i agree...but has anyone tried to think why i did that...yes i am not her boyfren, but i dun wanna lose her either, but it just seems that well the process has started...i dunno...just its in my fate to lose ppl...i maybe selfish and jealous, but who wudnt be in circumstances like this?i didnt say anything cuz i noe i was wrong....but some stuff u said did hurt me....u noe me better...

its has been more than 1mth and i have not seen that care or smth i kinda wanted from her....barely spoken even 100 words to her in like 1mth plus....

i feel like a book in a bookshelf only opened when needed...-quoted from fren

exactly how i have been feeling, but sometimes even feel am i even needed?

i have been dying the same death over and over again everyday....i have no objection on what you do....and i have no rightz anyway.....but what i have been experiencing since so long, what did i do to deserve this...yes i have bullied you, but that was lovingly bully....but i get hurt to the max everyday....but i dun show it....i dun want any sympathy....i want that care to come naturally....but dunno why have this feeling, it will never come....dunno why me, but haiz....ya ya i am the bad guy....the worst guy born on earth right....haiz....

~edited~

dunno, ur "brother" just missed you...

i dunno la...its just depressing and hurtful la... :(

Ultra-fun....is smth i desire

hello hello....recently nothing much has been going on....got 1 damn nice news...my toe kinda recovered...erm like there is no pain.....but still cannot bend...tmr blading....fun fun....top it up wednesday no sch....hehe...seeing so many people on with their driving lessons and stuff makes me jealous sometimes....argh...2more months to apply and then 4mthz to license....anyways on with the updates....

8 Nov 2008
Whole day was pretty much spent slacking at Sonu's house....evening just went down for a walk...saw frenz play soccer while i just did some basketballing...after tat swim...9plus went back to Sonu's house for soccer match watching....Man U lost sia...tat too to arsenal...watched few matches and came back home like 1plus...cudnt sleep so watch movie....slept finally at 4....

9 Nov 2008
Woke up at 11+..ate something and somehow fell asleep again....wake up 3+.....slack around....did a bit of ECSD...then go down again....walked around at ECP....came back swim with frenz....later watch match again at Sonu's house....around 11 while at his place web cammed with gur gur....talked a while....continue with match and back home at 2....LOLz....reason why i go sch late....LOL...

10 Nov 2008
Late for sch.....hehe....asked jie which subject is first....lucky lucky ECSD...cher dun care one....LOL....reason why i late.....once i got ready to leave fell asleep fully dressed up....left housie at 915....anyways had mac mac for lunch....b4 tat had porridge with cheryl jie....didnt feel so full in my life....SWENing was boring...was playing game throughout....bleah....cuz teacher didnt come...ooooh ya...my phone is coming back to rejoice with me....LOL...haha phone got into Su Pings hand and they say ok giving....LOL....anyways after sch well nth much happened....went home with tok and xinyi jie....stopped at bendermeer there...brought back memories of Hindi School...while walking back home realized that ehhh got SWEN lec hor....and like kinda everyone just left for home....hehe....nth much really....

lol tmr getting back phone....going roller-blading also...going plaza sing also...wednesday no sch also....lalala....bleah.....hehe okok byez

Total fun and happiness

These 2 days have been awesomely fun for me..felt indeed blissfull in the past 2 days...hope these things come more often....or shud i say everyday.....muahahaaha....LOL...ok lets talk about thursday...

6th Nov 2008
Swen project presentation......ok apart from tat everything was happy!!!....lol....presentation went pretty well....did stumble a bit but turned out alrite...ok not tat alrite...when Q&A time, the teacher was a super %&*#@!!@#*.....seriously la....she ask like damn wierd questions......and like everyone has their own opinion about certain phrases wat...ok la her answer was right when she told us, cuz it just struck me suddenly.....but my answer was close and did make sense....she ask like eeeeyer....shhhhh no more her.....after tat was ECSD....very fun day......was tehing 'aunty' cher......lol....during 'break' we went mensa for desert!!!....yum yum mango ice.....love it.....after sch help cheryl jie with her lappy to install office....while doing tat watched some damn funny videos on youtube....

Man U player, Park singing touch my body




Japanese english lesson



reminded of 24hr tag....u all shud watch it too.....


at night went for a spin to 711 with fren....chit chatted at pool area...laughed alot.....hehex....then 12 plus gur gur called me!!!....waaa but she wanted me to sing...lalala...so sung her lame self created lalabuys then 5 songs....after tat asked her to sing for me....she sang with you by chris brown for me......waaaa ok her singing is nice.....then just talk talk laugh alot....so overall had fun with siblings and gur gur today...YAHOOOOOO....


7h Nov 2008

Went for microsoft seminar at 1130.....forced to eat 'lunch' by mummy before leavin...met kia yee on the way there....reached there at arnd 1150....and our classmatez werent there yet....so first go KFC to grab smth...i was tempted so had cheese fries...then go carefour to see if there is smth for me to buy for home....nth...finally they all came so went to the seminar....marked attendance after a while left for lunch at Carls at Marina Sq with wei yu, alex, suping jie, xin yi jie, victor and yu hao. I wasnt hungry so they had their lunch...i had an overdosage of fries today...was being showered with love from both my jies and being fed fries.....lalala....blush blush.....felt very happy.....hehe....were in Carls for like 2hrs plus...after tat went back to sch....i joined blading as my recreation....damn fun ppl and its very fun atmosphere also....yeah but i wont be blading till next wk or the next next wk....cuz i have been forbidden to blade...and i do appreciate my jies cocerns....respect their orders and its for my own good...love them....haha ya ting my toe might fall soon.....weee hold girls hand today!!!LOL....cuz since i wasnt blading so i just walk ard and help the newer ppl in their blading....mainly concentrated on 2....my jie and some girl, damn cant rmb her name....LOL....i am decently gd in skating but the ppl there are way better....but well they show keen interest in the sport and like to do the tricks....i just like blading as in the speed and just the straight path ahead...can just do some basic stupid minor tricks like eagle i think......think tried T-break once....so my dear mr nice toe toe...pls heal so that i can go blading again....currently watched survivors and house.....they are just uber gd la....hahah...


haha ya tats like about for today.....might go watch movie soooon.....lalala

Birthday celebration...LOL

Weeee i got a rash or smth on my right hand thumb area.....dunno wat happened....cudnt be the ice pack gel cuz quite a few others also kanna tat...waaaa u can see pink color....hehe anyways tmr is presentation....wootz....ok u wont hear this from me often if at all...i am a bit nervous....but i know things will go fine...
anyways about today then....slept quite early but still woke up pretty late...but managed to come to sch on time.....why must we have that SWEN teacher...after tat had birthday celebration....for pictures can get them from Su Pig's blog...emphasis on pig....hehe kidding la...tats if she posts them.....so Sept, Nov and Dec babies all celebrated today...not bad....my kinda first celebration with classmatez.....just made my urge to become 18 even more....well i have not touched my steering wheel for a very long time...hmmm today celebration wasnt like tat long where u go and throw cream at each other, run around and play....guess everyone was shagged and also busy with projects...hmmm shagged at 1pm...ok maybe not....lolies....hehe...
di also came today....long time didnt see him...happy to see him...gd thing no Os till next wk.....after celebration most of us proceeded to Mensa for lunch....on the way was the Milo van....rmb those X-countries they had these....i drank 6-7 cups in a row...cant blame me, very thirsty and i think didnt have milo tat tasted so gd for a long time....so haha no lunch for me cuz wasnt tat hungry....so then we went to bookshop later buy lolipop....yummy....after tat went to the lab with our other half of the class....they were doing their project while i just did some fooling around....
back home at around 530....went down at 6....play soccer on muddy as in gone case muddy ground and swim till 8....back home looked at slides to think of wat to talk about...hmm think should be alrite...
haha yes like tats about today....lalalalala