Hmmm yet another rant..

over the past few days i have gotten scoldings and lectures like everyday....i have had enuf of it...save meeee....ok fine i wont drive the car till my test...25days more...

ok lets begin...

i dunno why is this happening to me....i tot i was over with it..but it keeps coming back and hittin me hard everytime i remember...how was it possible for me to be happy last wk and sad this wk...

i rmb i told my jie long back, tat i was not happy...and she was like you are never happy wat...tat statement hit me hard....recently i was just reading dolls blog and i was like okaaaaaay.....to her i am this emo guy....there are so many signs given to me already to force me to get over with it and move along....i just cant and i dunno why

sign 1...number of phone calls from her reduced

sign 2...meet ups with her reduced

sign 3..our chats started to become boring...last time there used to be things for me to talk but then it was all gone...all i hear is about her bf

sign 4...not hearing her voice anymore

sign 5...not seeing her anymore....wateva webcam we did...there was neva this time wen i felt tat i am looking at my doll...it was always looking at someones gf...

sign 6...even tat gone

sign 7...wateva lil chats we have are the same ones....how u...bla bla...and suddenly bf....bla bla bla bla...bf...bla bla bla...bf or smth related to him..tat smth to chat for is all gone...

sign 8...the total number of signs accumulated to prove tat jai pls enuf is enuf...get over...

ppl say tat the closest person to u is the person whom u share all ur stuff with...in this case the award goes to u my dear blog...so close to u share everything with u but at the end i cant even give u a hug for stayin by me all this while...ok i myself dunno wat i am saying...gone cracked...

my fren told me this....girls are like buses...when one is gone another comes in just a short while....but in my case i was thrown off a moving bus...i was not even prepared for it...landed on the ground and bled all over...in all cases the bus slows down stops and then u get off....mine threw me out wen it was movin along ECP...my fren told me it took him 5mth to get oover his loss...my case its not even 3wks...

i am still thinking on how i am gonna save myself from this...she always said she liked one quality of mine...truthfullness...and wateva truth i said always made her happy and smile....hmmm today my truth proably wont have the same effect...like they say the truth is always bitter...

i am actually contemplating over the fact if i shud become tat jerk...

as much as i hate the smell of smoke and smokers, recently while looking at my socceroos smoke i just had this weird temptation to smoke and so call get this saddness away...yea tat wud then make me hate myself for smokin...but like i am already not hatin myself for makin my life miserable....dun worry guys i din touch any cigerrate...i am still a virgin smoker.....

yawns...anyways smth to look forward to...transformers releasing....harry potter releasin...and 2wks time blood donation....dunno why i am looking forwar so much to this...hopefully if this even works...wateva sad thoughts i have would be drained out through my blood and given to tat person who gets it...B+(be positive) ye tats my bld grp....so take this sadness and give it to tat needy....yea but we all noe this wont work.....

~tooot gaya dil tooot gaya~

Lil sick of drivin

damn.....damn lazy to even start of the post...i will finish up the beginning tmr hahaha...

haha ok fine i shall begin...well well there werent really any monday blues this time...ok maybe there were....cuz i have no freakin memory of wat was done on moday...hahaa..well tuesday i was suppose to go for the AYG job training....but i din wanna continue on it for a non paying job...and ya my tuesday started at night...i went for driving to kallang mac drive thru...bought my apple pie and fries...and then went to the beach...once i turned into the road for the beach i saw a police car drivng behind me...i was like great jai today u have just been pawned...drive damn normally and went towards the mac in the beach...and the police car was still beind me....aaargh...so i turned into a carpark...signal rite and they also signalled rite...i was like wtf...shit no....upon entering the car park i see another 5 police cars there... i am like wooootz...all waiting for me...they parked their car also like no ones business...i had to mount curb cuz of them...parked my car, came out and dropped my fries....i only ate a few.....more than 3/4 just gone...walked to the beach...saw few couples, prostitutes, meeenas, cats, and some drunk losers....apart from tat nth much...went to mac and asked for ice cream...why cant they sell icecream in the morning!!!..ice cream is the bomb!!..settled with a drink and off to the water water....was just emoing there looking at one couple and thinking....why is tat every gal i eva liked drifted away from me...ok fine i wont be a kid anymore...no more childishness...tat wont be jai...but heck it...for the record...i whacked 140 in my car at the beach!!!...came back home at 6 in the morning....chatted with gurdiya for a while and then knocked out...woke up at like 1ish...and off to drive back to the beach for my skates BBQ...lil tired but still drove....then reached there settle around....went to buy few more stuff.... had a lot of fun in the BBQ...played frisbee...burnt our eyes with the smoke...yea all tat...haha came back home and knocked out pretty sooon i shud say...

wednesday was movie day...woke up pretty late....slacked around at home....drove to big splash starbucks.....solve a few math qns...unlocked the greatest mystery of wifi connection from starbucks....went to komalas and had the freaking spiciest paratas in my life....hot hot....back home....went down to plaza sing to catch monster vs alien...the movie was tooooo gooood...just freakin hilarious...

thursday....went for drivin lesson....haha ya not my car sch car...lol...kanna scolding from instructor for using 1 hand and speeding in circuit....too used to auto la...after tat went to just green for mock chicken rice....yup vegetarian chicken rice...it was quite nice i shud say...quantity was gd pricing well ok ok...came back home...saw 2 chix at the pool...*faints*...hhaha...well went for proper soccer.....and damn it was tiring...team was gd....cud have easily won if some kutto would have played soccer instead of rugby...goal is down not up la!!!...went for a swim and back home...tried knockin some sense into bhai but he just wants to listen to himself...so now i cant be bothered...had a small argument there...

friday morning...parents are back!!!...hugged them tight tight....still got a lecture from mum though...gurdiya is upset with me....weee...cudnt be happier man....bad luck has started again...

isnt it like damn strange....wen ppl get their love in life they change...no matter how old their frenship is...its so fukin natural...everything used to be awesome talking to her before it happend...and rite after tat she went...got her love so great leave me...

great so i am becoming the jerk now...i promised i wont hurt and i wont come wat may be....

My new msn

home alone day 7....1wk woot woot

Well i was just playing around with the messenger skins...i so like my new skin...classico...hehe...here it is...
tadaaaaa....

anyways today was pretty decent day....although my sleep was a very light one for the first time....kept wakin up....so it was not really a proper sleep....todays highlight of the day was soccer time...i swear upon every living soul on earth i had not laughed so bad non stop in ages...few old frenz came for soccer after ages..Sajal and Chester...2 hilarious idiots....i dunno my kidney, lungs, heart, probably every organ was hurting from laughter....the jokes man....before going down it was so freakin boring at home..and i swear all the freakin channels on tv had nothing interesting coming on...went and sleep....listen to my songs full blast...my downloads are so freakin slow...probably gonna take 1 more day to download 17 Again....now i am having pizza craving...ya i noe i just had pizza yesterday.....time flies freakin slow man....

ok off to driving now....maccie drive thru i am coming....

back from driving...got my milo and apple pie.....yummy!!!....hahaha i broke 3 laws....no license driving...no seat belt driving....and lastly going onto the road for incoming cars twice...FUN FUN...and now my cravin is even worse...need fries..gonna bake them...

i kind feel funny at my back...its not really a back ache...think gyming today was not done properly or the way i was sleeping on my chair was totally screwed up..wateva it is my back kinda hurts...just realised my NAPHA test is gonna be on 30th june i guess..rly need to get training....

oh well i guess its movie time...dunno which one though

The feeling of emptiness in life...

People say being alone at home is one of the best things u can have...the whole house to yourself...sleep wen u want...bath wen u want...wake up wen u want...no ones there to nag at you...but after a while this whole feeling is just damn effed up....
To add on to all this...missing people in life totally screws up ur life...rite after i had written my previous post...it felt gd throwing my stress out...but after tat suddenly my body, my mind was all just filled up with misery...totally fallen apart...and its not tat u r missing just 1 person..not 2..not even 3...there are like wat 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 , 7, 8 ,9, 10 people!!!....4 of which are though rite here in Singapore...but yet so freaking far away....and worst thing u cant do anything about it...wats the point of having so many ppl close to ur heart wen all u can do is just miss them....wat is the point of having the whole house to urself wen all u gonna do is rot there and miss people...so there the tap to the tear reservoir started opening...and then tapak...tapak...tapak...drop...drop...drop....FLOOD.....
read a quote recently....remembering the past make people stronger....so not true....it just makes u weaker and weaker opening up the small little bruises and wounds u have...

Home alone day 5....
woke up with the worst feelin eva....fever!!!...asked bhai for medicine....went hospital...not for me chill....then suntec pizza hut...had super heavy meal...bhai testing my ordering skills...not impressed...blooody basket...haha the waiters there pay more attention to him...after tat back home in the evening....went down...played soccer for a while and then i saw 3 girls...and then the wierdest thing....their face changed into my dolls face....all 3....i noe it sounds damn filmy....but seriously...i was like wtf...wats she doing downstairs....and now 3 of em...kor says i gone mad i need a doctor...bhai say chill u wanna go talk to them....like .......... u noe ................ dot dot dot ........then went to the basketball court....started lookin up....now she will call me and say how small i am....both of us lost in our world.....but we were pretty gd and light hearted tat day...mood was gd...everything fine...unil we entered the gym....switch on the radio....bloody hell all romantic songs....wanna make u instantly cry those kind....like everyday they will play normal songs....not so romantic...but today was like full on romantic song....wanted to call the radio station to stop it...different corner of the gym....different position....look out of the window...sleep on the flooor....sleep on the bench....lean against the wall...everything diff...but one thing in the mind....made the day so bad...i almost just went out of the gym....got huge huge lecture from bhai....went home watch tv to divert mind.....tot to myself...why am i killing myself.....she wont be mine means she wont be...talked to her at night...webby with her...glad she noes i am better now...saw her smile and all made me feel better...lucky i din have a webby....talked till 5 am...felt kinda better...slept and woke up at 630 cuz of the rain...my feverish body got its coooling downness....went back sleep....

home alone day 6...
woke up with yet another greatness entry....i vomited.....weeee...this time no more half vomit full ones...but damn throat hurts....chatted with mumma just now....felt so much better...then my mishu didi....ok fine she is younger than me...but oh well talking to the ones i miss felt awesome....now am off to UBI collect car....
ciao....

~edited~
ok back...well went giant shopping after collecting car...came back home went down soccer....and smartass me has injured himself yet again...this time in the most dumb dumb manner...i was on the grass lying down...ball came just kicked it and in the event kicked my leg hard on the floor..direct impact on my bone...HURTS!!!!....lol but can walk now i guess....bhai being damn emo....and then he scolds me for being emo...i also miss her na....forced him to go walk...so walked to Tanjong Katong loook at bunglows and cracked alot of jokes....hopefully lightened his moood for tat time...rented DVDs and back home...and well now just watching tv...

anyways heres a song super close to my heart...damn meaningful lyrics....and i practically did wat the lyrics say...here it goes..

{Hum khushi ki chaah mein har khushi se dur ho gaye - 2
In the search for "my" happiness, I got seperated/drifted away from all other happiness
[Dhoondane chale the - 2] Zindagi
Went to search for my life
Zindagi se dur ho gaye - 2
Got seperated/drifted from my life
} -2
~~

Paas thi apani manjile
Our destiny was just a hands reach away
Ja ke bhi hum na ja sake
But even if we wanted we could not get it
Sukh wo thi jisaki aarzoo
Peace is wat we wanted
Paake bhi hum na pa sake
So near yet so far
Bheed mein bhi tanaha jiye
Living alone in the crowd
Naa paaye koi jahaan
No one got their world

[Dhoondane chale the - 2] Zindagi
Went to search for my life
Zindagi se dur ho gaye - 2
Got seperated/drifted from my life

damn meaningful song which relates every single word to my life..
NICE NICE SONG!!!....
hopefully the days wud be better....

and i miss all of u!!!

will miss you but wondering why should i

home alone day number 3....well lets talk about wednesday.....day was not at all great until i took the car out for some relivement out of which got freaking scolded like nobody by Sonu.....there came a point in the day wen i asked myself...why am i liking her....she cares for me i care for her but tats it...our paths are so never gonna cross, and i really wonder why din it...well cuz she loves my fren...and it was proven at night wen i had to wait for a bloody 1 hr for my dear couple to come back from their talk...like why call me down in the first place if u were gonna walk somewhere else with him and come ages later...so anyway took the car out drove to parkway get cake...almost banged a lady driver and got scolded even more....just not my day la....haha u think today was bad...nah nah...

home alone day 4....

well dolls birthday...took the cake to the park...cut cake pic bla bla....then leisure park...its feels so effed up wen 2 ppl whom u care so much about literally in ur face, heart, soul, everywhere kick u...yea i was shattered, broken, disgusted...she noes i like her....he noes i like her....and they are holding hands and mushy mushy with each other right in my face...it was so #@$#@ up....like wtf am i suppose to do....i cant walk next to them and see tat happening....i cant walk at the back and see a show going in front of me....so i walked in front....walk infront also then getting shouted at for being emo...tat wat you want me to do?? dance at wats happenin....totally odd...i had told her one thing tat i would neva hurt her...and i swear i have neva done so...she promised me she wud not either...there you go...million deaths in 1 day...i was asked by her over the pass few days, wats with me...i just din wanna hurt her...sry i cant

and today was her flight to US...i so cudnt be bloody bothered at all...yes i am gonna be missing her loads...but its just yet another day in history where i have been stabbed rite in my heart...after all the things tat has happened this wk....i guess the wk couldnt get any better...

the only good thing tat happened today was out with kor....went for the movie, land of the lost....superb movie made me laugh so bad....perfect diversion of mind...had some nice talk with kor too....soooooo long no proper talk with any of my siblings..i missing u all bloody loads leh...and yes i do feel like a bastard of kinda using him as a support for todays dumb events...but i was convincing him to get out since ytd...today i just had another extra reason to do so...but kor genuinely speakin no intention of using u....

and ya kor....rmb u said u felt lucky ur situation wasnt as bad as mine...i am happy u realized...cherish all those happiness u had...work on it....success will definately come.....dun worry...i noe is easy to say all these...but well i am trying hard too..

anyways the next gal in line....pls come AND STAY!!!!....

1 wk no blog

hmmmmm well wat to say....ok lets start of with a good news....i dun belive in happy endings anymore....ok so here it goes....

5 June 2009- Imagine Cup

Imagine Cup competition....came second...and well friends and family were damn proud of it....can see tat happiness in their eyes..and dad...i was like ok wats wrong with him...after the results and all then went to suntec and got mocked by Sonu for comin second..thnx la...but ya i seriously din get why did the worm group come first...like totally no link...

6 June 2009-Day where all went wrong

Thought that this day would be a big day...din see my doll for so long, so it was gonna be a lucky day for me....ya ya...wished her gd luck in the morning and then slept...well after her exam called...she ask me to come...but i din want to be an extra between her and her fren...so just waited for her to come home...so well day out was scrapped...slept the whole day...went to drop my dad to the airport in the evening...grand dad in ICU...wtf...after dropping dad came back home...rested a while..went down at night...chit chat with Sonu....went back home and then the news dawned on me...grand dad passed away...complete shocked...thnx Sonu and doll for calling me...tnx kor also for comfortin me...totally shocked and din sleep the whole night...

7 June 2009-small outing

Slept in the morning...dun rly rmb wat happen in the day....only in the evening Sonu and doll brought me out to get my mind diverted...went beach bladed for a while...had mac dinner....gave doll her bus ride...alot of calls from relatives and visits...it just makes me more miserable...

8 June 2009-Interview and airport again

Went for AYG part time job briefing to the national stadium...project manager was damn boring but oh well wanna work...after tat went for driving....i am so not gonna go driving with slippers again...and well din drive for 1mth...got a bit rusty...but got back jai in line....came back home rest a while...then daddy callled...say go drop mum to airport now...i needed to get my mum out of the house in 10mins and she was taking her own time packing...it was so irritating...got her out and once in the cab kept getting calls from airport and dad....settled mummy...got her safe to the plane...and then back home...day 1 of home alone begins...wanna catch home alone 4 come to my home...

9th June 2009-Outing with doll

day 2 of home alone...went parkway with doll and had loads of fun roaming around and playing in the arcade...missing mumma has started....

well over all the wk has beeen pretty ok...doll is going to be off tmr and gonna be missing her loads...holidays are pretty ok ok....class outing guys???

Neva beeen so stressed in my life....

Hmmmmm life is has taken a real toll on meee!!!...i have got so much to do all by tmr!!!...waaaaa super sianing....well anyways my doll called me today....made my day after all that stressed out period...done quite a bit of the project...tmr got presentation somemore....anyways went to Microsoft office...really funny i was smiling wide wide while talking to my doll....but like once kept the phone down felt quite sad....like instant missing...
haha ok skip tat....today saw 2 lovely couples.....awww they look so sweeet together....go hold hands la...will fall deeper in love...hahaha i was feeling so awkward in between those lovey dovey couples....but i only sad one thing!!!...now from having chance of becoming uncle from 4 places, now only 3!!!!....NO FAIR!!!!....not allowed....haha....anyways talking to doll was really good as it got my moood better....but i haven seeen her in days!!...like seriously cant wait for her exam to finish...
Microsoft was also damn fun...NG damn classic and funny....gd to have him around....aaaah damn tired....trying my best to finish up the project....bloody feverish...ok back to chionging!!!...maybe today no sleeping...hmmm come on jai you can do it...and baby i miss you!! =) =) = ) = ) = )...love you..

Dead shagged

Something is gone wrong with my memory...i slept like super late again...i need to submit assignment!!!!....kinda scared about it....tmr will be back home late again...missing my doll alot....missing loads of other people too but doubt they miss me...do they even rmb there used to be a bond in between us which for some reason is broken.....anyways coming to memory gone gone...

sorry xin yi ie....lol i dunno why i bought tat drink....haha next time confirm will get peach tea...mind really gone case...another thing...i dun even noe wat time does sch start tmr...all i rmb is tat i wud be back home late...

was watching night at the museum 2 in sch....finished 3/4 of it and it just stopped!!!.....my 3hrs plus wasted!!...but its freakin funny...a must watch...

btw wats with suntec??....haha i have been going there almost like every few days....starbucksing...money wasted wasted..

and since i was saying my memory gone....lets give u a glimpse of my past

Joke of the day

Hmmm today Tokies birthday(1june)....so happy birthday...

anyways had ITPM test today...and i am kinda pissed!!!...ok i spent 2 sleepless nights studying for this paper just to find out the structured qns are CHICKEN FEET!!!!...so only 1 thing can pull me down MCQ...which were quite tricky indeed...

hmmm have interview on wednesday...i am gonna pass!!! i noe....

had chat with my doll today....i cudnt see her....only see her in her balcony..lol sooooo far how to see...plus my house no binoculars....2 days neva see her already...only talk...missing her...finally she is studying for her SATs...we both cant wait for friday....last day of sch...results announcing and her SATs wud be ova...

ok fine u only came here for the joke of the day rite!!!....fine...i went into wrong lecture hall for my ITPM test today....ooooh ya one more thing...got back car from repairs....had a delay in collection...almost kanna late...i told my dad lemme drive....cuz wen its late...i only trust few ppls driving...fun to speeed...but stupid PIE got traffic...

anyways 1 test down...left 1 project submission for this wk...

sch reopen got another test and presentations....

left 1.5mths to TP!!!....faster lah....

anyways here are some videos to end with...

and lastly

current song in my mind--->I gotta find you by Joe Jonas

life wud neva be the same without you...dun go pls